Sunday, January 27, 2013

Dear little sister

My dear little sister is going to sit for PMR this year. I'm so worried for her. I've been there and done that. I know what she's going through right now. But the circumstance she's facing is far worse than me. Will she be able to handle the pressure and stress? She's a brilliant student ever since she was a kid. She was always on top of her class. But this time I can't helped but to feel anxious for her. I'm freaking out!! Will she be able to perform well? Will she be able to pass with flying colours? I tried no to pressurize her but whenever we are on the phone, I find myself constantly talking about how she should study harder, that she needs to perform very very well, by hook or by crook.

I know I shouldn't be doing that, am I? I'm just going to pressure and burden her with my ridiculously high expectations. But what I'm doing is out of love towards her. I just want the best out of her. I want her to achieve success in her life. I want her to feel happy when she manages to attain straight A's later. I want her to feel good about herself. Sure, it's not the end of the world if she couldn't get 8As in her examination, but I know very well that she would be brokenhearted if she doesn't. And being her big sister, I don't want that to happen. 

I try my very best to be the best sister for her. So do Didie and Amir. I know they are trying their very best too. I don't want her to feel lonely and neglected. To feel a sense of loss. She never had the chance to see and get to know her father and she's just 9 years old when she lost our mother. She's a strong and special kid. At such a young age she lost both of our parents and had to live with our aunt and uncle. I don't know how I'm going to face that, if I were her. When mom left us, I was 18 years old. So I was mature enough and thus could endure the emotional turmoil of losing our mother. But what about my little sister? Alhamdulilah she's as strong as fire. I remembered crying when we were having dinner together and she suddenly told me to not cry but instead I should dedicate some doa to our beloved mother..

We are blessed and fortunate to be granted with such kind and helpful aunt and uncle who are willing to take care and raise my sister like their own flesh and blood. I, in a million years won't be able to pay the flood of kindness and goodness from them. Only Allah could pay their kindness. May Allah bless them with good health, prosperity and happiness in here and hereafter.  Amin..

To my dear little sister, adik, even though you won't be reading this, do know that your sister loves you so much. You are never alone in this world. You are blessed with lots of people who loves you unconditionally. Remember you'll always have me, abang didie, abang amir, ayah and of course ma and bab. When I scold you, it's because I love you so much and I'm worried about you. I'm your sister, that's what I do. I always pray that you will be successful in everything you do. Amin ya rabbal alamin. 

3 important people in my life. 

1 meows:

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