To be honest, I do not know what is happening to myself lately. I've been a lazy girl, lazy girl. Been sleeping a lot and spending a huge amount of time on the internet. Every morning my clock wakes me up and every morning I would lie on bed until the very last minute before I am forced to get up. I guess my body, soul, and mind still think we are still in a holiday phase. I keep having this thought that there is definitely something wrong with me. Like maybe I have "jin" in my body, that's why I've been behaving like this. (Padahal memang dasar pemalas, now wanna put the blame on jin pulak!) Gosh, but I hope it's not due to that reason. This is just my wild thinking, resulting from watching too much horror movies and hearing lots of those kind of stories and experiences from my classmate and my lecturer.
I haven't got any assignment done within these 2 weeks. The new semester has only begun for two weeks, yet I already feel it has taken its toll on me. I don't know how on earth did I manage to take five subjects last semester. This semester I'm only taking four subjects, yet I already sense the pressure.
I know I should get my lazy ass out of the bed and actually start doing my project paper! It's just that the topic itself is difficult to get me start working on it. Hence it is going nowhere as we speak. What's with my supervisor some more. Please don't get me wrong. My supervisor is the loveliest person on earth. She's literally a very wonderful lecturer. But her sky high expectation is freaking me out. Reading endless journals and books makes me wanna cry. No matter how much I love reading, journals, textbooks and any educational reading materials are beyond doubt not to my liking. But then again, to be an excellent educator, I believe one has to be intact with educational materials. After all, learning is a never ending process for educator. They will constantly learning throughout their life. As a saying goes, "a teacher can never read too much". I forgot who said that, stumbled upon that remarkable statement while reading some journals last semester.
In all honesty, I don't have any idea how other people manage to get through this stage (masters/phd) successfully. Especially those who are juggling between work, study, husband, kid and whatnot. But still manage to pull this off with flying colours. They must be super women. I'd be lying if I say I haven't thought about quitting my study (the thought comes at least 2,3 times in one semester!), but thinking of how much money I have to pay to UiTM back, the thought quickly vanishes. Haha. As for now, I just have to suck it up!
Anyway, because of this:
I guess I won't be sleeping tonight. :D