Missing them..

Didi whatsapped me this photo of him and adik while they were watching Croods today.

Look at their faces. They looked so happy (especially my lil sister hehe)! I didn't realize just how much I missed them until I saw this picture. Wish I could join them too. 

Even though my aunt doesn't allow us to bring adik to watch movies due to certain reasons, we would still do that secretly. Simply because...we love watching movies! But of course, we would pick movies that are only age appropriate. So most of the time, we would pick cartoons and a very light movie genre. 

Last week my brother, Amer surprised adik by visiting her at her boarding school to celebrate her birthday. He brought along chocolate cake and birthday presents. 

Adik with her cake. The last picture, adik shoving cake to amer's friend. :D

Adik told me in excitement how her class teacher threw her a surprise party in school and she received lots of pressies from her friends except...........from me. Truth is, I haven't bought her anything for her birthday this year. Last year I bought her favourite baju muslimahs (she loves wearing them!) and a couple of books. And I even posted them to Kuantan. This year, I didn't get a chance to do that again. So I told her the truth. She was upset at first but turned chirpy the moment I told her my present is the most special and expensive among them, so it'll take some time. 

Her: Ok then. You may take as long as you need as long as I get the expensive gift. 

Me: What a material girl, you! Become happy the second I mentioned the most expensive gift!

Her: Hahaha..of course!

Oh well, that's my dear little sister who turned 15 this year. May every day brings you nothing but happiness. May Allah bless you with good health, wealth, happiness, prosperity, love, togetherness and laughter. Amin. 

My work tonight

Helping my supervisor marking her examination papers for undergrad students. They are 50 of them. Thank God they are only objective. It spells suicide they are in the essay or structure form! Especially with the coming presentations and tests..ain't nobody got time for that!

But still, it demands hard work so as not to mark the answers wrongly (you might accidentally do that, if you don't pay close attention) and miscalculate the marks! So I have to double check everything which equals to marking 100 papers. 

On another note, my project paper is still going nowhere. I already submitted my first draft last 2 or 3 weeks but she hasn't given me any detailed feedback regarding my draft. Will meet her again this Thursday. So far I am meeting her on a weekly basis. Sometimes twice a week. I think that's good and I'm very comfortable with me seeing her on a regular basis because it's very essential to have adequate supervision from our supervisor. 

But one bad news though, I might have to conduct my study and collect data in MRSM Gemencheh, Negeri Sembilan!! I checked with google map and discovered it will take me around 2 hours ++ to travel from UPM to the location. Well 2 hours is considered not that long right. But I immediately turned into a green-eyed monster as soon as I found out that my friend will only conduct her study in Putrajaya! It will only take her less than 30 minutes to reach there. How nice! Save time, save money!

My new supplement

Lately I've been noticing that my skin has gotten worst. Pimples, black and whiteheads are springing up like mushrooms after the rain. But that alone is not enough for them to ruin my face. So they decided to leave hideous black scars all over it. I don't know what is the main reason behind this breakout, but I say let's blame the assignments and tests!

After spending some time googling, I stumbled into a lot of articles that rave about the benefits of Evening Primrose Oil to women. Convinced by the positive reviews, I got one for myself (or rather two, I bought the Twin Pack). I've been consuming EPO for six months now. However I do not see any significant difference to myself. I'm still having my monthly cramps, pimples would pop up every now and then, I still can't get rid of my ridiculously oily skin (yes, it's that bad) and I still wake up every morning to find my hair all over the pillow. I also shed in the shower and while brushing. But I guess it's normal to shed a few hair. Plus, I have very thick hair that makes it difficult to deal with. Hence losing some won't do any harm. :) I'm also prone to getting huge disgusting pimples before my menses, and unfortunately EPO does not help me in that area too. 

It's pretty weird come to think of it. Why doesn't it work on me, unlike everybody else? Or maybe without my noticing, it actually works. I mean,  if I hadn't taken EPO perhaps my condition would be a lot worst? Nonetheless, I guess I'll just continue consuming until it finishes. 

Anyway these few days upon noticing ugly pimples coming out and happily residing on my skin, I decided to ditch them before it's too late. So I got myself Vitamin C 1000mg today! This time I bought the twin pack as well. It's much cheaper if you buy the twin pack compared to a single bottle. I was bewildered to see there are tons of brands that you can pick from. There are 21st century, BioLife, Kordels, Blackmores and many more! This time I decided to pick the one that contains 1000mg Vitamin C. Last time I tried Vitamin C 500mg and it didn't do as what I had hoped. 

After several minutes of reading all the labels, I was contemplated between choosing BioLife and Blackmores. But it wasn't that hard to make a choice really since Blackmores is cheaper than BioLife. :)

I hope this 1000mg Vitamin C won't let me down!

P/s: Lately I can't help but to notice there are lots of beauty products and supplements that contain gluthathione. They claims gluthathione is a very effective whitening. And being someone who is not fair, I was so tempted to try it! There are basically millions of gluthathione products out there, but the one that caught my attention is AuraWhite. Maybe because they say le pretty Hanez Suraya consumes it too. I was thisssss close to buy it! But after doing some research about it, I came across an article that stated gluthatione supplements are just a marketing ploy to rip us off our money. That is the reason why they asked you to take vitamin c as well while taking glutathione, or not it won't work. It's vitamin c that lighten our skin, not gluthathione. Thank goodness I stumbled into the article! Gluthatione supplements are not cheap, you know!

What a bad day..

It seemed like a perfect day today, I woke up to the chirping of birds in the trees across the street, the sun was shining brightly, and the birds continued singing without a care in the world. Except it was not, not even close. I've had a really, really bad day. Everything that could possibly go wrong, had gone wrong. In fact, I haven't felt this down in a million years. 

I woke up unusually early today to prepare for my curriculum evaluation presentation at 3pm. Of course, the slides were all ready, I only have to do some final preparations. To be honest, deep down inside I felt like this was the toughest presentation so far. I just couldn't truly comprehend the materials no matter how much I read the books. Despite the difficulties, I did my best. Staying up all nights (notice it was plural?), preparing the best slides, reading the three unbelievably thick textbooks on curriculum evaluation (and what's with all those scientific jargon? Why can't writers convey their thought in a simplest manner? so that people like me who suck at literature able to understand what it's trying to say!). All week I was secretly wishing and praying hard to God that the class will be canceled so I don't have to present it today, so that I'm left with one more week to better prepare. But life isn't always full with roses. So the class was not cancelled as I had hoped. 

Around 12.30 pm, after wrapping up my final preparations, I wanted to print the slides. Guess what happened? My beloved printer decided to have some fun with me. Definitely not the right time to be messing around with a stress woman who's left with 2 and half hour before the presentation. As unreal as it sounds, suddenly my printer stopped working. This was totally unbelievable for me. I used the printer last night and it was okay. Last friggin' night! So who in the world might have thought it would turn out to be like this? So I took a deep breath, breathed in and out a couple of times and I kept reciting bismillah...but it was to no avail. My heart kept telling me that God was testing me this time. I knew it was. After wasting my precious 45 minutes trying to fix the printer, I made up my mind to leave it alone and just print the slides at the cyber cafe. Plus, I was running out of time. It was already 1.15pm and I haven't had my shower. After taking a bath, I decided to try the printer again, and........................................it magically worked! Alhamdulilah..see? I knew God was testing me. 

I managed to arrive at class 20 minutes early. Great, I had more than enough time to set up the laptop, projector, LCD and whatnot. I was all calm and positive, when suddenly.......................my sweet orange laptop that is so dear to my heart wanted to play hide and seek with me today, Of all the time! If you must know, my laptop had never ever gave me headache, he was very well-behaved. Oh ya, except that ONE time. When he decided to turn all black, but it was a long time ago and I had already forgiven him. But today, 15 minutes right before presenting, my laptop kept hanging. To my dismay, the projector and LCD did not work as well...Ya Allah..

Luckily my friends was there and they helped me resolved the problem. If it were not for them, I didn't know what would have happened. Dr must be really upset when she turn up to see I was still struggling with the technology. So there..all problems solved! 

It was all fine when I began my presentation. I saw my friends and Dr immersed in the presentation and nodded politely at my explanation. I thought everything was going to be okay. But the worst happened. I was in the middle of my presentation when my lecturer asked me to stop. She asked me to stop my presentation and asked me to present another topic instead. She asked me to stop because according to her I missed several points from the book. She asked me to stop because I only missed several points from the book! So wait, I had to stop this presentation and had to do another topic instead? Just because I missed some points from the book??? How ridiculous is that? What about the rest of the slides? Are there all rubbish in it? I took all my points from the book, of course! Ya Allah...only God knows how disappointed I was..to be humiliated like that in front of the class..Okay fine. So I had missed several points from the book, but tak kan solely because of that I need to stop? AND have to do other topic instead? My friends who presented before me pun did not cover the whole book! And she was okay with that. But when it was my turn, just because I missed couple of points, my presentation was rejected! What about giving me a chance to finish my presentation, instead? I had put a lot of effort and hard work in doing the slides, in reading the freaking books, in preparing for today! I was definitely taken aback with what happened. But I tried to put on a big smile across my face. And smiled at her when she said she didn't want to jeopardize my mark, hence the decision. So I nodded respectfully and accepted her decision. After all, she's my superior. 

I tried to be positive about all of this. I told myself hey, cheer up! It was actually a good thing she asked me to stop, because I think I wouldn't be able to explain all those critical theories pun even after studying it for a million times. I admitted it was tough. So yey!!!! I don't have to present that and do other topic instead! Isn't it the best?? Of course, it is!!

But no. Thinking of all my hard work, effort and those sleepless nights go to waste..it was heart breaking. Really. 

I could accept this if my lecturer told me my slides were full of crab, where did you get the info? or maybe I was awful when presenting, but when she asked me to stop just because according to her, I missed several points from the book, it's hard to understand. 

But in a way, God has granting me my wish. To not to present today. That was what I had wished all week. Apparently it did came true. Just not the way I imagined it would be. 

After shedding some tears, I guess I feel much better now. Everything has it's own silver lining kan. Maybe ada hikmah behind what had happened today. I don't know..One thing for sure, I felt tested by God. Maybe He did this to me so that I come back to Him.. 

Dinner Date

Curriculum theory class finished at 6 pm today. Checked my phone but there was no text from mister. *Sigh* I was secretly hoping he would ask me out since he was off work today, but of course I didn't tell him that. Then I texted him, "kelas dah habis". To my dismay he simply replied "bagus". Ok fine, I thought. I'll try again in a few minutes. Not long after that, I typed "Otw ke cafe. Yang makan ape mlm ni?" and hit the send button. "Nak makan ape malam ni?, he plainly asked. At this point I already pulled a face and just replied him "Tak tau lagi". In a split second a new text came into my sight saying "Jom makan kat luar nak tak?" Heeeeee I think I was smiling from ear to ear. :) 

So off we went to Sunway Pyramid. After considering several places to have our dinner, we decided to eat at Kenny Rogers. I think the last time we went there was 3 years ago. Yes, we rarely go to expensive and high end eateries. Apparently we are much comfortable going to the usual kedai makan like Wang Solo. hihi. We ordered roasted chicken with original sauce. Oh dear..Sedapnyaaaa..

Oh prior to that, before the heaven roasted chicken arrived, mister told me he missed a call from Ibu and needed to call her back. Okay with me. But it was starting to get on my nerves when he took 20 minutes speaking on the phone. I don't wanna sound like some jealous woman but I knew for a fact that he never spend that long on the phone with her mom. Trying to look cool, I asked him what took him so long upon his return. But it only took nano second for me to start behaving like a mad woman. 

"Who did you actually call?"

"You didn't really call your mom, did you?"

"You were on the phone with some other girl, did you?"

"What is her name?" 

Haha..I say blame the hormone! My questions were left unanswered and I somehow forgot that I was mad once I tasted the freshly roasted chicken in my mouth. It was insanely delicious! Yum! Once we're done with our dinner, mister suddenly handed me a white box with a little pink card on it, tied in a ribbon. Oh my..I didn't know how to describe my feeling at that moment. I was genuinely shocked with the surprise. I never expect he would do such thing simply because he never surprised me before and he did mentioned he's not the type of guy who know how to surprise woman. So those 20 minutes he claimed speaking on the phone with Ibu was actually he going to Pandora to buy me a bracelet charms. :)

I love it love it so much! There are only four charms so far..will slowly complete the bracelet later on..It may take yearssss for me to complete it since the charm is soooo expensive! Maybe I'd buy the charm once in a blue moon..

Thank you so much sayang. I really like it! Sampai sayang pulak nak pakai. :D

The latest spring collection from Pandora. So pretty!!

Look at those sparkly hearts! They're beautiful! Pink heart would be my next purchase. 

I want mine to be crafted pretty much like this! since I'm a big fan of pink..

Sian dia kena scold with me. Hee 

I'm one happy woman!

Sempat snapped a photo of me right before going to the class and sent it to mister. Haha..Oh I love how 360 camera makes me looks so flawless! Hahaha..I don't know why but I found  it so funny maybe because in reality I'm sure as hell as do not look as fair and have crystal clear skin as in the picture portrays. :D

Marina Diamandis

The latest single from my crush Marina. And.......I'm hooked! Been listening to it all day long.  

Though the song contains a large proportion of repeated phrase, I still love it anyway. :)

Btw, as always Marina looks absolutely stunning in the video. The dark red wedding dress that she's wearing is beyond beautiful. I want her face and her perfect hourglass body!!

All this while I thought I am the only girl who's crazily in love with Marina. Turn out, after doing some googling, I found lots of websites that are created especially to Marina. Come to my surprise, I stumbled into  a website named "The We Love Marina Diamandis' Eyebrows Club" and there are tons of Marina's eyebrows photos in the website. Haha..I couldn't even imagine that..so they are basically obsessed with Marina's eyebrows. :D

As expected, I also came across a website dedicated to Marina's bosom. They claimed the existence of the website is not to degrade Marina or objectified her. It's simply to admire the natural art of her truly fantastic bust. I hope there are only girls in the website!

As her fan, I really wish Marina wouldn't use her body as an asset in her career. Plus, with her face and amazing voice that she owns and amazing ability to write her own songs, she clearly doesn't need to do such thing. And I actually believe she wouldn't do that. Eceh..Nonetheless, I still love her, big or small cup. Just don't stop doing what you're doing now, making music that is pleasant to my ears. 

P/s: Sometimes I can't helped but to wonder why she isn't as famous as Katy Perry, Ellie Goulding, Lana del Rey, Rihanna, Taylor Swift and whatnot. Her vocal is 100% better than those singers. Yes, I listened to her live performance. 

Drooling

*Breath in, breath out*
Oh my..Aren't they just lovely? I can't stop looking at these pretty babies! Been staring at them for hours..

How I wish I could own all of them..seriously..

One way to get motivated instantly

To be honest, I do not know what is happening to myself lately. I've been a lazy girl, lazy girl. Been sleeping a lot and spending a huge amount of time on the internet. Every morning my clock wakes me up and every morning I would lie on bed until the very last minute before I am forced to get up. I guess my body, soul, and mind still think we are still in a holiday phase. I keep having this thought that there is definitely something wrong with me. Like maybe I have "jin" in my body, that's why I've been behaving like this. (Padahal memang dasar pemalas, now wanna put the blame on jin pulak!) Gosh, but I hope it's not due to that reason. This is just my wild thinking, resulting from watching too much horror movies and hearing lots of those kind of stories and experiences from my classmate and my lecturer. 

I haven't got any assignment done within these 2 weeks. The new semester has only begun for two weeks, yet I already feel it has taken its toll on me. I don't know how on earth did I manage to take five subjects last semester. This semester I'm only taking four subjects, yet I already sense the pressure. 

I know I should get my lazy ass out of the bed and actually start doing my project paper! It's just that the topic itself is difficult to get me start working on it. Hence it is going nowhere as we speak. What's with my supervisor some more. Please don't get me wrong. My supervisor is the loveliest person on earth. She's literally a very wonderful lecturer. But her sky high expectation is freaking me out. Reading endless journals and books makes me wanna cry. No matter how much I love reading, journals, textbooks and any educational reading materials are beyond doubt not to my liking. But then again, to be an excellent  educator, I believe one has to be intact with educational materials. After all, learning is a never ending process for educator. They will constantly learning throughout their life. As a saying goes, "a teacher can never read too much". I forgot who said that, stumbled upon that remarkable statement while reading some journals last semester. 

In all honesty, I don't have any idea how other people manage to get through this stage (masters/phd) successfully. Especially those who are juggling between work, study, husband, kid and whatnot. But still manage to pull this off with flying colours. They must be super women. I'd be lying if I say I haven't thought about quitting my study (the thought comes at least 2,3 times in one semester!), but thinking of how much money I have to pay to UiTM back, the thought quickly vanishes. Haha. As for now, I just have to suck it up!

Anyway, because of this:

I guess I won't be sleeping tonight. :D