Tuesday, February 12, 2013

In a dilemma

When I went to Ipoh last time, Ibu and I had our little girl talk. Ibu voiced out her desire to meet my parents and to further discuss about my relationship with mister. Since we have been dating for quite a while hence Ibu thinks it's high time we finally tie the knot. She acknowledges the fact that I'm still studying and thus want to 'hantar tanda' first. I also would like to finish my masters first and maybe work for like a year or two before settling down. Although in all honesty, seeing my friends get married and have babies, I feel like getting married in an instant too! And it surely doesn't help when some of them constantly updating their facebook status about how wonderful their life after marriage is. And look at those cute little babies! So adorable I wanna chew them! 

I found myself all bubbly inside when Ibu said that and I swear I could feel my cheeks were turning red and hot. I tried to hide my bright smile and tried to act cool as possible as I can. haha..Ibu asked me to inform my parents about her wish and I nodded. Although at that particular moment my head was already spinning like crazy trying to figure out how am I going to spill it out to my parents. 

When I went back home, I didn't tell my parents about it at all. How am I going to tell them? Me and my father we barely even talk. How am I going to tell him something as important as this? Should I go to my step mom instead? She never even ask me about myself, which also made it difficult to start the conversation. I thought maybe I could let them know some other time. Plus, it's not like Ibu wants to meet my parents soon. I remember vividly that she mentioned she would like to see them at the end of this year. So I told myself fret not. I still have more time to surprise them. 

But today I received a news that makes me hyperventilate. Mister received a call from Ibu and she asked him whether she could meet my parents next month. NEXT MONTH! IN MARCH! I know I should be joyful upon hearing it. I am, actually. But what makes me a nervous wreck is the fact that I haven't tell my parents about it. Whats worse is that they don't have any idea about my several years of courstship with mister. Not a single clue. How lah?? 

Now I really wish my mom is still here. If my mom is here, I won't have to face this much difficulty just to inform my dad and step mom about this matter. I would be more than happy to let my mom know about this.  

Even though we are not exactly on speaking terms, I'm sure my father cares about me. It's just that I don't know how to strike the conversation with him. 

To mister, I hope you will understand the reason why I haven't tell my parents about us and also about your parents wanting to meet mine. Perhaps you will find it hard to comprehend the thing I face, what I went through with my parents since no one really knows what it's like to walk in other's shoes. It's easier to simply ask me to 'just tell them', but for me it's like asking me to swallow a bomb. It hurts me big time when you easily accused me of not wanting this to happen. Please for once put yourself in my place and try to understand my situation with my parents. In the mean time, I promise I will let my father knows about your parents' intention.

Love you.

2 meows:

Anonymous said...


i feel very sorry to you. Im your silent reader.
Im sure, there will be a happy ending to you guys. Pray hard.

Fitriah said...

Hi there! Never thought this blog would have silent reader..hehe :)

Thank you for the prayer! I hope so too. Amin..

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