Friday, December 21, 2012

Random rambling

Assalamualaikum. How are you? I hope everyone is fine and as healthy as a horse with your beloved ones. :)

Alhamdullilah I'm still very much alive despite the fact that I am struggling with never ending workload. Even though the semester is going towards the end I still have one more assignment to write and it is to be submitted next week. It is a term paper, actually. Knowing my lecturer, I know very well that the only way to please her and score an A for this subject is to treat this assignment like a thesis. No, I kid you not people. That's just how she is. Her expectation is as high as the blue sky. The thicker your assignment is, the greater chance for you to obtain an A for it. At first I thought 25 pages is enough, but after she mentioned about thickness of our assignment yesterday, I figure I'm gonna have to work my butt off and write at least 50 pages for her. Don't know if I manage to write 50 pages (should be mooooore, actually), will update you guys about that. Oh ya, you should see our take home final examination for that subject. Since it is a take home examination, she took this opportunity to kill us with ridiculously tough questions. You should see them, then you'll believe me. I literally die when I see the questions. Thank God, she is being considerate and thoughtful by giving us sufficient time to complete the take home final exam. But with 5 more examinations to be focused on, I can't helped but to feel burdened and anxious about this. Forgive me, I don't mean to whine like an old woman (I hate whining) because I know there are millions of people out there probably wrestling with bigger problems than mine. This is just part and parcel of students' lives. Sometimes I tell myself, buat master pun macam ni punya susah, how I am going to get hold of a Phd? Phd must be 10 thousand times tougher than this...

Enough with that boring rambling. You must be bored to death listening (or rather reading) me blabbering on my assignments.  Let's move on to a new topic, shall we? Hehe..

I have this one friend. Lets just call her "Bubbly" (yes, she is always so cheerful and lively). Bubbly is an excellent student. She is the 'genius' in the class. She is every lecturer's pet. But recently she's no longer cheerful like before. Being a concerned friend (hehe), I asked her what's wrong. She then told me she is now going through a divorce. That is indeed an awful news. She told me that her husband has cheated on her and has an affair with a much younger girl for two years. Can you imagine that? The affair has been going on for two years and she had no idea whatsoever until her husband decided to end the marriage. To be honest, I feel really sad for her. I can actually feel the pain and relate to the thing that she's going through right now. I'm not yet married (still got a looooong way to go for that to happen) and never been through a painful divorce, but I once lost a mother of my own, I know exactly how it feels when someone dear to your heart, leave you forever. I know how it feels to go sleep at night in tears hoping I won't wake up in the morning or hoping that when I wake up tomorrow, this will all change. That this is just a very horrible nightmare. The loss of my mother cuts deep into my heart to the extend that no one, literally no one could ever fill the emptiness in my heart. When Bubbly spilled me her problem, I was speechless. I didn't really know how to react and how to console her. My mind was running like crazy to find  the best words to soothe her. At last, I nodded and told her "You know what Bubbly, Allah is testing you right now. Maybe He misses you so much that He decided to put you through this hardship so that you remember Him more..I know you are a strong woman, you'll get through this. I'm with you and I love you, Bubbly". She smiled upon hearing those words and asked me to pray for her. 

But that's not just about it. Since the disintegration of her marriage, Bubbly has been a bit 'off' lately. She hardly attends the classes, or if she does attend the class she will be 2 hours late. She also submits the assignments one or two weeks after the due date. If she does that for several times, okay I get it. I can understand that she's going through an emotional turmoil right now. It's hard for her to pull everything off. Okay okay I get it. But for her to be doing that for all classes we have, for all assignments, for the entire semester is totally unacceptable. To my dismay, all of my lecturers didn't say a word even though she's skipped the class for countless times already, even though she didn't submit her assignments on time. Because of why? Because Bubbly is their favorite student. They even said "Bubbly doesn't come to the class again? Oh that's okay. She's a good student". I agreed wholeheartedly that Bubbly is a smart student. Actually, smart is an understatement for her. I think 'gifted' would suit her better. Sometimes I think it's inhuman how brilliant she is! If you're in my class, you'll see why I said that and I bet you'll agree with me. She is gifted with an outstanding mind. Praise to Allah. 

But I think for the lecturers to simply be oblivious of the fact that Bubbly didn't come to class and didn't complete the assignments on time for many many many many times just because Bubbly is a brilliant student is not right. It's not that I don't sympathize for what is happening to her. I do. But I just think she shouldn't  let this conundrum get in her way. Like I said earlier, to be acting like this for a few times is understandable. But for the entire semester? I don't know about you guys. But for me, I don't agree to this to bits. Am I wrong to be having this kind of feeling? Come to think of it,  I think this feeling is stemmed from jealousy. I'm embarrassed to confess but I think I'm jealous towards Bubbly for receiving such special privilege from our lecturers. May Allah forgive me. I pray that Bubbly could face the hurdle and stay strong. InsyaAllah. Amin.  

2 meows:

Azian Elias said...

salam kenal..

Fitriah said...

hi dear! welcome to my blog! :)

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