I feel so sad!

Last night before I hit the sack, out of boredom I browsed through my old pictures. Then I found these three photos of me from last year, if I'm not mistaken.

Then I suddenly realized how different I am now. Different, in a bad kind of way. Saya gemuk sekarang! Pipi saya sangat tembam! Don't believe me?

Seeeeeee!!! This photo was taken yesterday! I look so f***** fat! Clearly this is not perasan gemuk ke apa. Oh God, what have I done? Rasa sedih sangat!! First,second and third pictures tu nampak bentuk dagu saya kan, then fourth picture, poof it's gone! Look at the size of my cheeks as well! Obviously there are truckloads of fat in them! Sedih sangat sampai rasa nak menangis! To be honest before this 'tragic discovery' I've already noticed that I've gained some monstrous weight. I went from 45kg to 50kg and I can't fit into some of my clothes and jeans. But at the time, I thought it was not a big deal since I was quite flat at that time. I reckoned it's a good thing for me to gain some baby fat coz I always adored and wanted curvier body instead of flat one.

However this recent photo proof I'm wrong. This is totally not okay. Having noticed this significant difference, I no longer feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel ugly and most importantly, I don't feel good about myself. I know I have to do something, diet, exercise, bla bla bla..The problem is I am lazy. And I find it super difficult to control my appetite. I guess I digest too fast thus making me hungry all the time. And I also aware that whenever I'm hungry, I feel like my head is clogged and I can't think and focus. Thus, I resort to munching. Biscuits, coco crunch, snacks, you name it.

Nevertheless despite all the lame excuses, I have to do something. I know I have to. I must to. 

Maybe I can start ditching my obese cheeks by doing these exercises:

1. Profoundly pronounce the letters X-O a lot of times.

2. Open your mouth as around and wide as you can for a few seconds and then relax it. Do it about 30 times a day, in 3 different sessions–morning, midday and evening.

(Taken from Tips on How to Lose Weight from your Cheeks, WikiHow)

Latest addiction

Oh God, I think I'm in love with her. How can she be so stunningly beautiful and her voice is just so amazing! I can't stop listening to her. I literally listen to her songs every day. Every single day since I discovered her. I can't stop checking out her tumblr just to see her (stalker much?). I even worried if this is normal. Please tell me that this is perfectly normal, that I'm just going through a phase. I basically love everything about her. Her hair, her make up, her clothes, her voice even her nails. She has this vintage look and I've always adore vintage style! Her clothes are so feminine, sophisticated and generally fabulous. 

Now you see why I love her? 

Not a movie day

We were supposed to watch Skyfall today. 

I was looking forward to this day since last week. I put my best dress on, I even stuffed my face with foundation, something that I rarely do. Hehe..That's how thrilled I was to see mister today. Both of us haven't got much time to spend together lately. Me pretty much occupied with classes and assignments, mister with his work and photography job. 

But then on our way to Sunway Piramid, I got a sudden severe headache. My head was constantly banging like crazy. I even feel like I want to throw up. 

Mister suggested I should have something to eat so off we went to a nearby restaurant. Usually I will drool upon seeing my favorite dishes like ikan pari bakar, ikan keli masak pedas, masak lemak cili api, but not this time around. I only managed to eat half of my rice. 

Thus instead of going to the cinema, we went to massage. Best decision ever. Hehe

Both of us opted for full body massage and it costs us each Rm60. Quite reasonable I think?

The massage was good. It felt really nice. I think I had fallen in love with the sensation of having a massage. Might go there again every now and then. Oh, the masseuse told me I had a lot of "angin", that explains the sudden headache. She advised me not to drink cold drinks (I love cold drinks :( ) as she said they could kecutkan your sendi, but I guess it's okay to consume it occasionally. She also gave me a loooong lecture about the importance of taking care of our body and skin while we are still young. At last I bought a box of cocoa collagen from her. 

Balik2 terus searched reviews about this product. I was surprised to see there are lotssss of positive reviews about this cocoa collagen. Can't wait to try it!

Snowie

I finally got my driving license at the end of last year.
I didn't thought I could pass the test because I was so freaking bad at driving.
But I did. Syukur Alhamdulilah. I was over the moon!

Then without thinking twice I bought a car, I thought it be a lot easier for me to go anywhere instead of riding public transportation. I named him Snowie. I love him so much but to be honest, after buying the car I can't help but to feel a pang of regret in my heart. It's because I'm afraid to ride it. My family and mister told me it's just a matter of time. Sooner or later, with constant practice I'll be able to drive the car. That's what I told myself as well. I even apologized to Snowie for having that kind of thought. I don't want him to feel dejected.

Things were slowly getting better between me and Snowie. I rode him to class everyday. Still, I don't have the courage to drive him outside my university campus yet. Boo..

Then on one hellish day on my way back from class, I accidentally hit a car with my Snowie. The car was nicely parked and I, being a reckless driver hit its bumper. Being super panic and terrified of what had happened, I drove as far as I can from that car. So I think this can be considered as hit and run case. God..

Snowie after the accident:

Thank God mister is willing to switch his car with mine. So now I drive his Viva and Snowie's with him. Viva is so much smaller compared to my Snowie and I find that I am more comfortable driving Viva than my Snowie. Im sorry Snowie, I didn't mean to hurt you. Since that scary tragedy, I never drive Snowie. I guess it will take some time for me to pluck up a courage to drive my Snowie again. To the owner of the car I hit, my deepest sorry for what happened. I tried to look for you but hadn't found your car ever since. 

I miss blogging

Rindu nak berblog! Gosh, lama gila tak update blog..it has been one year!

Then out of nowhere suddenly tonight rasa macam nak update blog.. :)

Assalamualaikum semua. I hope all of you are doing fine. As for me, Alhamdulilah, doing fine and good at the moment, even though life has been quite hectic lately. I am now doing my masters in Universiti Putra Malaysia. The journey of getting masters apparently is indeed very challenging and full of strains. It's not easy, you know. Especially doing a course that is completely different from your degree. I pray that I can finish my masters on time and get at least 3.75 cgpa. Amin!

Currently I am in my mid term break...even though i got lotssss of assignments to do, I choose to ignore them for a little while..and I've been sleeping all day today (literally). hehe..

Tonight I'm going to stay up all night, eating snacks and watching movies!